When the Lab Parties...

Overheard this evening from our apartment: “Knock, knock, knock, knock!” (This was on our next door neighbor's door. He is a PhD student from Thailand.) “Hello?” Now awkward English from a Japanese student, “Um. You must come to lab party now.” (Some reply from the Thai involving an excuse.) “No, you must come to the year-end party. You do not need to pay.” (Some reply from our neighbor that he needs to go to the laboratory.) “No, Professor __ orders you to come. You do not need to pay. You must go with me now.” (Reply that he will go after he goes to the lab.) “No, you must come now. It is six already and the beginning is very important. The professor orders you to come.” (Our neighbor finally acquiesces and agrees to accompany this student.)
…Perhaps there was some mistranslation going on here in the way the Japanese student described that our neighbor was “ordered” to go to the party? Or perhaps not?

In any case, it seems that when labs party, it is an important occasion. In my experience, it is not an occasion that our neighbor should turn down. Jim has landed himself into a really nice lab full kind people. I have written already about Yasuko, the secretary and how much she has helped but did I mention that Satoko, the undergrad, is being paid by the lab to help translate for Jim? Needless to say, Jim's lab has gone out of its way to be welcoming and supportive, and in fact, even hosted a welcome party for us.

The party was planned around our schedule, which I guess is not surprising since it was in our honor. We had no idea what to expect. What we got was far nicer than any welcome party I've ever experienced.

Since people generally have much smaller homes here, most partying/entertaining is done in restaurants and bars. Our welcome party was held at in a private room upstairs in a traditional restaurant. In total there were about 30 people in attendance, most of whom were students in the lab. There was also one professor, several secretaries, and Eiya, the English speaking postdoc from the sister lab where Jim works. To begin the party, the professor (not the main one from Jim's lab, but an associate) gave us a sweet welcoming speech about how Jim was the first foreign student they've ever had in the lab and how nice he has been and that every student really likes him. (Imagine!) ;) Then, we all said “Kumpai!” (cheers) and began to drink beer. Then, the food courses began…

It was a set menu composed of many small courses that were beautifully presented. I wish I had taken pictures of all the courses, but alas, I will just have to rely on my memory. Here is what I can recall of the food: the courses consisted of sashimi (very nice quality raw fish), a creamy cheese dish served with fish roe, steamed tofu, tempura vegetables (delicately fried in a thin batter), miso soup (a staple here), Chinese pork slices (that Jim swore was the best pork he's ever had), fried cheese, assorted vegetables. The rice bowl came toward the end and the desert was a silken tofu chocolate pudding with whipped cream. Each course was very small and carefully portioned to be shared between four people except for the courses served in individual dishes. In the end, we had a total of perhaps 10 courses, though it didn’t amount to a huge quantity of food. Quality over quantity, I suppose.

There was a huge amount of alcohol, though, and it began to show over time. We all shared beer and then sake (rice wine). A cardinal rule in Japan is that you never fill your own glass without first filling your companion’s glass. (And even then, it is probably best to let your companion fill your glass rather than filling it yourself.) So, people were very attentive at filling each other’s glasses. Eiya sat next to me which was great because she could explain what was going on. She shyly explained (as some of the younger students grew rowdier) that Japanese are normally very shy, but when they drink, they are “released”. I had heard this before, that drinking in Japan was almost a sport and that perhaps it helped to compensate for an extreme cultural shyness. After a couple of students were lying across seats and generally being silly, I agreed that indeed, they were feeling “released”. It was actually cute how comfortable the students seemed around us once they started drinking and Jim got multiple hugs from drunken students. Interestingly, many of them who had never spoken to me suddenly seemed to all be able to speak English…hmmm. Coincidence?

At the end when everyone was chipping in money we thought, oh boy, this is going to be expensive, but then we were told by Eiya that we were the guests and therefore not allowed to pay. This, too, seems to be a Japanese thing. If someone invites you to dinner, coffee, etc. they will be paying. This is not always true with younger people, but definitely has proven true in our experience with older Japanese. The hospitality here reminds me so much of the incredibly hospitality of West Africa where people will generally bend over backwards to help you. It’s so nice and I can only hope that Americans are as kind to foreigners. (Hmmm.)

Anyway, I think the party was a great way for Jim to bond with other students since he reported that everyone was very friendly with him the next day. Since then we have been invited to join in on a student BBQ and Jim has been invited to join some of the lab guys for ramen at lunch. The “ladies” of the lab, spearheaded by Yasuko, invited me to take my lunch with them any day around noon. I haven’t yet but I certainly should.

I count us very fortunate to be part of such a nice lab group. I would assume all labs were this nice, but judging from the way some foreign friend researchers describe their labs, I believe that Jim lucked out. Yay. Maybe he can ask for Christmas day (not a huge holiday here) off… ;)